Cocrear is an Ontological Coaching Consultant. It runs training courses and training in emotional intelligence and communication in order to develop effective, well-being and relationships of individuals, teams and companies. Training and organizational consulting.




        Site Topics: control, control the, to control, command and control, because if you,

In many of the relationships we build in our daily lives we move unconsciously from the pretense of control. Try to control what the other person should do (or not do), which says or should have said, his emotions, what he thinks or feels about us ... We establish these relationships in both the family and society, as in the business.

What moves us when we try to control the other? Many times an emotion of mistrust and fear. Other times the lack of acceptance of another, when that person does not meet our expectations, we do not accept as a "make" valid. Finally, an authoritarianism which we believe "true owners"


"By failing to establish mutual trust in the living, not displayed the sense of security agents in the conversation, why not move where you want to achieve something the thrill of control and domination that denies the other and undermine the respect for self and other. These emotions, beliefs and actions impede the dynamics of coexistence in mutual acceptance." Humberto Maturana

What are the consequences of this claim of control? Suffering and inefficiency, resentment, tension, guilt, disappointment, punishment, resignation, stress ... more distrust, more fear and a huge waste of time and energy.

Attempting to control the other's existence is ultimately focused on a place where we have no real power. However, we do have power in ourselves.

We can control our attitudes and decisions. We can control what we say and what we are silent. We may ask, offer, promise. Many times we can not choose the circumstances, but we can always choose our response to such circumstances. We can choose our thoughts, our values, our opinions. We can intervene in our emotions. We learn, change, improve.

If we are focused on controlling the other, finally, what we try to control, controls us. In focusing on ourselves, we gain power, freedom, efficiency, comfort ... and the possibility of building a better future.

Pablo Buol 


The paradigm that prevails today is command and control. It is purely authoritarian and removes empowerment to lower levels. That obviously does not attract workers the knowledge age. The world economy expanded both limit competition that will drive a paradigm of empowerment and high confidence, to have the innovation, creativity, quality and flexibility needed to compete. You can not forge a culture of high trust, reliability comes from people and organizations.

 S. Covey


In our old system we could avail ourselves of management authority. If you had the ability to climb the ladder, gain power and control, could impose these changes. But the company's future will need willing followers. Most of our leaders do not want volunteer supporters, but to gain control ...
The deeply held beliefs are often in conflict with the values ​​proclaimed. The organization can proclaim their desire to "delegate power" in people, but a prevailing attitude control. Thus, although the values ​​change claim, the culture of the organization tends to remain the same. The belief that we can change our culture with new values ​​only attests to proclaim our innocence in this regard. Such statements typically only generate cynicism.

Peter Senge


We need to emphasize two features of the mechanism "command and control".
The first points to the fact that it is a type of regulation that operates by establishing a "ceiling" on the worker's performance.
The most it can do is to comply strictly with what is attributed. Nothing encourages, for example, exceed the performance required in the order received.
The second feature of the mechanism of "command and control" is the fact that for this to work, requires sustained in the "emotionality of fear."
The fear of the consequences that result from not complying.

In the same way that the solution to the problem of productivity involves the "command and control" regulation mechanism work, the foreman makes the central figure of authority in traditional companies. This involves issuing appropriate orders and instructions, monitor their compliance and punish violations. There can be "command and control" without having someone who effectively command and control. that person is the foreman.
The system requires not only supervisors, but supervisors of supervisors, foremen, overseers of overseers, and so on.
At some point, a problem of differentiation and status, these foremen began to call them managers or managers.

The fundamental problem is this: the "command and control" allowed the workers to do what the foreman told him from the work done by the design engineer. But when it comes to non-manual worker often we find that nobody in the company - and even less his boss - he knows better than I could do in the area of ​​their work and how it should. Evil can then be left to the boss tells you to do and then check that it complies. If done, it simply is not able to exploit the yield potential of these workers.

Rafael Echeverría


Many of the organizations where I work, the trust issues are very high. And it looks so clear because the crisis of trust involving investment in control, a great deal of the economy, part of the expenses of the organization will control systems. When an organization raises their confidence levels, control costs are disappearing has direct impact on the financial side but it has to do with many other things. It is very difficult to be creative in mistrust, it is very difficult to produce a good customer service from distrust.

Julio Olalla

Have - Hold

The larger realities
and more beautiful,
the more the will
the less they possess and your lips.
If you want the sea,
and open your hands in the water
and all the sea is in them ...;
because if you close your hands
to retain it,
will remain empty.
If you have a friend pilgrim
I'll let it go and ...;
because if you hold it to possess,
I'll be losing,
and you have a prisoner.
If you want the wind,
extend your arms and open your hands
and all the wind will be yours ...;
because if you want to retain
Run out of nothing.
If you want your son,
let it grow,
let it go, and to stay away,
and will mature on his return ...;
because if you hold it possessed
lose it forever.
If you want the sun
and enjoy his wonderful light
open your eyes and contemplate ...;
because if you close
to retain the light that already achieved
you'll be dark.
If you want to experience the joy of having
free yourself from the mania of owning and retain.
Enjoy the fluttering butterfly,
enjoy the river that runs elusive
enjoy the blooming flower face up ...;
enjoys having all
without possessing hold.
Only then you will enjoy life
without knowing that you possess,
hold it by letting it run free!




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